In the olden days, people married for love and that was sufficient reason. They stood by their marriage through thick or thin, mending whatever was broken, compromising in order to accommodate each other, maintaining a harmonious relationship for life. No one was perfect and an imperfect partner was never thrown away. What mattered was the harmonious relationship.

Now people stay single longer generally. Because of the influence of magazines, singles create long lists of expectations that a person should meet before being qualified as a potential partner. That has made looking for a marriage partner a huge task because few people can meet all the criteria and they are disqualified even though there is love. Then single people wonder why they still cannot find someone for life. They place the blame on the limited choice available among people of the opposite sex, and do not look at themselves as the possible problem. Let’s face it, few or none of the single people trying to hook up the perfect partner are perfect themselves. What are they offering the perfect partner that they expect to find?

It looks like the problem is with the list. People are simply looking for a person for whom they can tick all the boxes without knowing what exactly is required to build a harmonious relationship. If you are single and you are looking for a marriage partner, here are the qualities that you should develop in yourself and that way justify expecting those qualities in others.

1. Integrity

Integrity is a major requirement for a harmonious relationship. Who wants to go into marriage with a person who has no integrity, who lies and cheats? If you don’t like lying and cheating in others, then others do not like that in you. So, if you are having a problem with integrity, work on yourself and develop this trait. It is a deal Then look for that trait in others. Lack of integrity is a deal breaker so if you find it lacking in a partner, ditch that person.

~ Sallust

2. A Loving Heart is Necessary for a Harmonious Relationship.

No relationship can be sustained unless there is love. In order to be able to love and cherish another person, each person must learn to love and cherish themselves. Then they can freely give love without holding back and they can freely accept love without suspecting a motive. A loving person will not judge and criticize others and they forgive easily any mistakes. Is your partner loving, non-judgmental, and forgiving? How about you? This is critical for a harmonious relationship, otherwise you will be busy judging each other and holding grudges, destroying the relationship.

3. Companionship

You do not just look for someone to make children with. What you want is a companion, a friend, someone to talk to during good times and bad times, to raise children with and to grow old with. That someone should be the first in your mind as you go about your daily tasks, and the first person you call as you deal with life’s problems. That person is the one with whom you make major decisions with. Are you willing to be such a person for someone? Is your partner a good companion?

4. Lovingkindness

As you date and play with your partner, watch out to see if this person is loving and kind to you, to animals and to other people in general. If this person loves some but hates and ill-treats others, he/she does not love unconditionally and rest assured that person will ill-treat and hurt you too. Lovingkindness is required in you too to build a harmonious relationship with another.

5. Positive Attitude to Life

Life is never easy but it is fair to all, treating every one evenly. The difference lies in how each person deals with the situations that arise. A negative partner will moan and complain and thoroughly make you feel negative about the economy, the weather, certain people, certain countries, politics, relatives, etc. Ditch that person! A positive person will always see opportunities and positive outcomes out of any situation and hardly complain. You can build a harmonious relationship with such a person. How about you? Are positive or negative?

6. Encouraging and Empowering

You need encouragement to succeed in whatever you do. So does the other person. To build a harmonious relationship, partners must encourage each other to be the best they can be. They should believe in each other’s dreams and empower each other to go out there and shine. Then each one can have the courage and the self confidence to perform and shine, knowing that the special person in their life believes in them. Look for this trait in a partner. Be willing to be that kind of partner for another.

7. Be Communicating

Communication means that each partner is clear on what the couple intend to accomplish and each partner is aware of what the other is up to. No one should hear from outsiders what the other person is planning to do. This is particularly applicable when it comes to financial goals where mistakes can cost a couple their savings and leave them destitute. Are you good at communicating? Is your partner good at communicating? One who likes to hide things from you will continue to hide things from you in your marriage. Get this sorted out. If you are not good at communicating, learn and develop this trait. It is important.

8. Romance and Fun Loving

There is time for work and all must be serious. But you are in a relationship because you are attracted to each other. Create a harmonious relationship and nurture it through romance and fun. Always have time for romance and fun where you can just relax and be yourselves, focusing on each other, making each other happy and creating memories. Go out often. Go for a holiday together. Pursue some interests together. Make an effort to be romantic and fun-loving. Look for this trait in another. If this is missing, even a marriage based on love will not survive because one or both of you will be starved for attention.

9. Ambition

Ambition is attractive in a person. Even if you are a woman, you cannot just look pretty and dumb. Have a higher goal that you want to achieve and work on it. Take self-development courses and read books. Then look for this trait in others. A person who lacks ambition and does not develop themselves mentally will give you a mediocre, uninteresting and possibly poverty-stricken life. Discuss your dreams to see if the other person has dreams, unless this person has accomplished much already.

At the end of the day, life is all about balance. You might have an overly ambitious person who has no time for romance, and that just kills the relationship. For you and the other person, these traits must be present in balance with each other.